Who Am I?

I am called Roxie Prince and I am currently 25 years old. I entered this world on Halloween of 1984. I was born HIV+ and my younger brother Cody (four years my junior, who is HIV-) and I were orphaned by AIDS by 1995. We lost my mother, Theresa, in 1992 and my father, Steve, three years later in 1995. While my parents were living I grew up in Greeley, Colorado and after their death we moved to Pasadena, Texas with my Aunt Pat who raised us and I’ve been here ever since.

My family is crazy and full of drama most of the time. We all have different last names and are all very independent and very much individuals, but when it comes down to it we love each other truly. My cousins are like my brothers and sisters because I grew up with them as siblings and as much as I complain about my family, I would scratch out your eyes for them. All the bad that happens to us just makes us closer and more resilient to the next pitch life throws us. We’re not always ready, but we’ll always come out fighting.

I have endured a lot of loss in my 25 years (my parents, my half-brother Zack to an “accidental overdose” in 2002, my grandmother, and now a cousin), but from it all I have learned a great deal. I have an outlook on life and death that some folks might find odd or unconventional, but it’s what I’ve learned. I wouldn’t change the way my life has turned out, but I would love to spend more time with those I’ve lost and especially learn more about where I came from.

I suffer from bipolar affective disorder (mixed). I was diagnosed in 2003 after a suicide attempt and once I was diagnosed I felt so much better. From about the time I was twelve years old I knew something wasn’t right in my head, so it was really nice to finally know that my suspicions were correct. Being bipolar is not fun, in the least, but it’s just another card I was dealt that I am still trying to live with. I am currently working on finding a combination of medications that works for me. I also suffer from extreme social anxiety and panic attacks. You have to remember to take my moods with a grain of salt. My feelings change very quickly.

I have always had a passion for reading and writing, for as long as I can remember. I don’t remember learning to read, and I certainly don’t remember a day when I couldn’t. By the time I was in the third grade I was already reading at a college level. My father introduced me to books at a very young age and I have been reading up a storm ever since. I currently read about thirty books a year (on average) and I mostly read classics, victorian literature, early American literature, and Southern fiction. I also enjoy crime fiction and non-fiction. It is really hard for me to narrow down a favorite writer, so I usually narrow it down to three – Thomas Hardy, Flannery O’Connor, and Algernon Blackwood. As for crime fiction, I love Patricia Cornwell and her Scarpetta novels.

I consider myself a writer despite the fact I have yet to be published, a fact I must contribute to my own lack of trying.  I write daily, I just have never pursued publication.  One of these days I will.  :)  I am currently working on my memoirs and some short stories.  I will occasionally post some of my work to my blog for criticism and feedback.  I am an avid journaler.  I have always kept a journal, since I learned to write, and I believe it is crucial to maintaining the ability to create. Hopefully, soon I will have something real to contribute to the literary world, even if it happens posthumously, like most greats. ::smile::

I love music.  I played flute for 11 years and now I am actively working on learning guitar.  I have a small (1/4 size) classical guitar that has become my new favorite pastime.  I practice on average 2 hours a day and hope to one day play like it’s my job.

I spent a great deal of my time crafting.  Mostly crocheting.  I can make pretty much anything out of some yarn and a metal hook - that seems so incredible to me.  I sell my creations through Etsy and even though it’s very little money for a lot of work I treasure it because I love to create and I love it even more when someone gets joy from one of my creations.

I’m also learning to sew (thank you to Carolyn & Jeremy for the wonderful sewing machine!) and I make hemp jewelry, do some beadwork, and even some stuff with clay.  I’m always up for learning new ways to create!

I am by far the most passionate person you will ever meet. I do things all or nothing, always. I love deeply, feel deeply, and live deeply. I am thankful for the time I am given and for the love I can feel and inspire. Religiously, I am a mish-mash of all sorts of things, but essentially I believe in Love. No one is gonna lose their soul. (Thank you, Ziggy Marley.) I believe love has no boundaries and I believe in your right to choose and to believe what you wish. Take care of yourself and the world and you’re good with me.

I have been in love with the same man since 1999, JD Palmer. We met in high school marching band. I do not believe in love at first sight, but the very first time I laid eyes on him I knew he was it. I can’t explain it, it’s just the truth.   He is the light at the end of my tunnel and my reward for all the pain in my life.

I adore animals. I have two hedgehogs named Theodore Butters (October 2005 - January 17, 2010) and Thaddeus Otto, along with a pug/shih tzu mix named Throckmorton Trouble and they are my children. I have a hard time interacting with people on a normal social basis, but my animals are easy. They always understand me and never complain. They make every day sweet and remind me of all the good in the world every day.

I have been dreadlocked since March 5, 2007. I know most folks, especially the conservative members of my family and friends, probably fail to understand their significance to me, but that’s okay.  I don’t look for any one’s approval but my own. Dreadlocking has been a spiritual journey for me that has given me patience, a lesson in vanity and taught me to see the real beauty in the world, in myself, and even in you.

I also love body modification and have five tattoos, stretched ear lobes (7/16” and 2g, two holes each ear), a conch piercing in both ears, and a septum piercing (10g). I very much plan on getting more tattoos. You don’t have to appreciate my views on beauty. Everyone has a different standard – mine just might be different from yours. I surely respect your standard and would appreciate you to do the same of mine.

I spend a great deal of time on the computer. It is my primary source of communication with the outside world and my escape from the trials of life in general. I play computer games (most World of Warcraft) and frequent a lot of blogs and forums. The easiest way to get in touch with me is online either by email or just simply by leaving a comment on either of my blogs. I’m almost always online. I love my MacBook like a family member.

For everyone that I have lost in my life I have met someone great. Not to replace them, but if I believed in divine intervention I would say they were placed in my life by those I’ve lost. I know some really wonderful people that have helped me a great deal, through many things, and have shown me just how beautiful the human soul is. I am thankful for them every day. You know who you are if you’re one of those folks. Thank you.

Essentially, this is the person I am – a big hearted hippie, an internet junkie, an animal lover, a writer, a crocheter, a reader, tattooed, pierced, stretched, dreadlocked, a thinker, and above all a lover. I am me. I am Roxie.

Remember, love is.

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